Changes
We all go through changes when dealing with Mesothelioma. Firstly, the diagnosis and the hope that we can outlive the prediction they give us, secondly, taking on board the treatment and dealing with it, our families watching helplessly as we struggle through side effects, recovery from surgery etc. Then lastly, we die. Our families have to pick their lives up and continue on forward. The pain and sorrow we don't know as we have gone.
Many who lost partners\fathers\children have ran the campaigns to get awareness out there and I have always taken my hat off to them. This must be the hardest thing they do, they have lost the one they love yet are ready to battle for those who are fighting a cancer that doesn't back down. Each and every day they are still reminded of what has taken their loved ones away from the family home.
Within face book the community takes a blow every week, someone who is known dies, the morale of those fighting and those caring have a knock back but what about those who have been doing group support for years, it has to take its toll. These losses lay heavy with them too. They may have never met the person who has died but they may have left a note of support, encouragement or answered a query.
Jan Weston is withdrawing from this world of face book. Jan Weston along with Debbie helped the community spread, many others drop out from the community because of the reminder of what they had and what they lost and still asbestos is being used world wide. We may be getting mines closed but still the stuff is imported and used. What is an epidemic in the Western World will become one in Asia, India, China and many more countries. The mean age of meso is 69, it is coming down but when will they take more notice. Janelle was only 37 when she died last week. I thought I was too young but this brave young mother was robbed of such a precious life and leaves behind a young family. I can't believe the age is still so high, I know more people under 60 with meso than over, would the government or any agency fiddle the figures. If the cancer struck more under 40 would they then release more resources into finding a cure?
At times it feels there is no way forward to battle this cancer. Immune therapy is being branded the next big thing, but to those who don't know a clinic in the Bahamas has been doing this for years and with good results. My problem of trying this is flying and then fear that I may do something that goes wrong, yet it could be the answer to my and many others who are facing the Evidence Free Zone of our treatments.
I must admit today my back has improved, I think the initial day of treatment and one after are the worst. I haven't done much today, I have been awfully tired, not sure whether its the added meds for my back or the champex tablets for the smoking. Yes I am trying again, I already think I will fail but only on day 4 of the tablets. Its the problem of my hands, I have found my knitting needles and no doubt will become one of these square knitters. This is where I miss my mam, I would knit sweaters and she would help on the bits I could never get right. Many nights mam and I sat on the sofa, both of us clicking away with our needles!
Bear yesterday chased a fox, but I missed it! The weather isn't in our favour at the moment, the wind has been really strong, especially in exposed places. The sky is heavy with rain, so at least the veg patch will be watered plenty! Lets hope the sun returns and we all get some heat into our poor bones.
My meso is playing up a little bit at the moment, my vision is doing what it does when meso has a little poke out. I am back squinting at the computer screen and my finger nails are peeling again. I hope it doesn't last long and my eyes return to normal. Strange how our bodies react to growth, although I guess the little army that protects our organs has to lose some soldiers to go fight the growth. Just a shame they lose every time.
Another strange thing happened to me, one of the Healers from church emailed me with the name of a book called The Healing Code. Apparently you do a routine of prays to God and you are healed. I am always on don't believe alert for books that promise miracles but this healer is in her late 70's and fitter than most 50 year olds I know, she also doesn't usually fall for this kind of thing. Maybe I will buy it and read what it says. After all what is 15 minutes a day?
On that note I will finish the blog for today. I hope that if you are reading this you are still in remission and the threat of meso is in the back of your minds and that of your carers. Lets make Summer 2013 the best we have ever had.
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