Emotional journey
It has been months since my mam died and today was the first time I have actually started sorting out her things. It only took me 5 years to go and put Dad's things out of drawers and throw out his old socks. Mam couldn't do it or wouldn't, I don't think she ever entered his bedroom after he died.
Hubby, because it was pouring down, went down to the house and just filled boxes up with everything from the cupboards. Cards, photo's, brushes, batteries, you name it, it was all there. I have only visited the house 3 or 4 times because it feels strange, so I don't know how I will cope when I finally go into her bedroom and start sorting through her clothes etc. To think after living for 84 years her memorabilia filled 8 storage boxes. I thought there would be letters which she kept from her mam and aunt, but nothing. Birthday cards, xmas etc but no correspondence. It brings back the wonder of why we are here, once we die we truly do and in another generation mam will be forgotten.
My scan results are sitting on the computer at the surgery but unfortunately no Doctor has read them, hopefully I will get some news on Monday. I also kept the appointment with the pain management Doc at the local hospice. I don't make sense when talking about pain, I have different pains at different times, my morning pains are the worst and I hate waking up. Yet at the same time I need to feel a little of the pain to know what is happening. He wants me to take the gabapentin 3 times a day, so from today I will be on 3. I have warned hubby to buy a set of armour and to hide the knives. Also have a new appointment with the gastro people in August so maybe if I can solve the stomach issues I will feel better overall.
Having a girls night tonight, Chris has ava for the night so Lorraine and I are going down, haven't done this for months so it should be fun the three of us. Although it will be a teetotal event, Chris can't drink because she has the baby, I can't face it and Lorraine is driving. I don't know whats worse getting up and down all night for the loo because I had too much alcohol or too much tea!
Time to go, Lorraine will be here before I drink my tea and brush my teeth!
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